Monday, August 30, 2010

I hope you dance

I've been so emotional lately. I mean, I'm always emotional, but I feel like I've been at the breaking point for days now and everything came to a head earlier today. My oldest child just started kindergarten, my brother's wife had a baby girl, my youngest son is walking... my children's childhood seems to be passing me by at a rate so fast I'm screaming for life to slow down.

And then it happened. F-ing country music station... I have to actually blame my friend Mike because he's the one who decides what the station plays. He's the program director. Thank you Mike for giving me a partial breakdown and now a splitting headache. And anxiety. And the sad longing for my babies to stay babies forever... Maybe one day my son and I will dance to this at his wedding.

I hope you dance by Lee Ann Womack

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat
But always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed
I hope you still feel small
When you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances
But they're worth taking
Lovin' might be a mistake
But it's worth making
Don't let some hell bent heart
Leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out
Reconsider
Give the heavens above
More than just a passing glance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
(Time is a real and constant motion always)
I hope you dance
(Rolling us along)
I hope you dance
(Tell me who)
I hope you dance
(Wants to look back on their youth and wonder)
(Where those years have gone)

I hope you still feel small
When you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
Dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance
(Time is a real and constant motion always)
I hope you dance
(Rolling us along)
I hope you dance
(Tell me who)
(Wants to look back on their youth and wonder)
I hope you dance
(Where those years have gone)

(Tell me who)
I hope you dance
(Wants to look back on their youth and wonder)
(Where those years have gone)

Friday, August 27, 2010

Getting better


Here's one of my first attempts for a still life photo. I hope I get better than this!

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Say cheese!

Tomorrow I have my first official photography class and I'm super excited. I don't have any aspirations to start a business or whatever, but I do want to know how in the heck to use the expensive camera my husband bought me for christmas last year. I tried reading the owners' manual that came with the camera, but it doesn't really tell you how to frame shots, use the aperture and shutters speeds and all of that other stuff. I'm really excited because my friend April is taking the class with me too and she and I are going to practice taking pictures of each other's children. Should be fun! So far I've only experimented on taking pictures of the flowers in my yard. I know I'm capable of alot more!

Sunday, August 15, 2010

God speed, Moose

The War overseas got very real for me today. Today I drove two hours to Wilmington to say Goodbye and God speed to my cousin Seamus. He was supposed to be deploying to Afghanistan in late September but they moved up his date to next Thursday. We had a party planned for him with a lot of my family being able to come up and say Bon Voyage, and give longer than usual hugs while fighting back tears and trying to stay cheerful. I dodged the bullet on this war twice. My Dad had already retired from the Navy in 1995 and he is "disabled" so they won't be calling him back up. My brother managed to get out of the Air Force in time to not be sent over either. I have a few friends from high school that have been deployed, served their time abroad, come back home, and a few of them sent again. I have many friends whose husbands are serving overseas right now. But seeing my baby cousin - he would argue that he's not a baby... He's 25 by the way - getting all geared up to go fight this war that not many support anymore is just heartbreaking. I held it together long enough to tell him his first care package would include as many cheese balls as I could fit into the box (an inside joke between us) and I told him I missed him already.

I'm scared. I'm seriously terrified that something is going to happen to him. I'm scared he's going to get hurt. This kid is very special to me - I consider him my adopted little brother and I would be devastated if anything bad happened to him. Fighting back tears, I'm going to be working overtime on my prayers tonight. God, please keep Seamus safe.

Friday, August 13, 2010

It's a cruel, cruel summer...


I feel left out this week. My husband took our oldest son to the pool every day this week and many of my stay at home mommy friends are off at the beach with their kids. I'm stuck behind this computer and watching people walk by the front of my house and I'm not going to lie... I'm bitter. I'm bitter that I actually HAVE to have a job and I can't be home with my own kids anymore. Sigh... I will feel better soon, I know, but I this has been a particularly LONG week and all I want to do is escape to the beach and relax.

Boo freakin hoo right?

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Pandora

Ok yes I've heard people talk about Pandora for a few years now, but honestly, I just checked it out. HEAVEN!!! Bon Jovi and Def Leppard and Three Doors Down and Joan Jett and all kinds of crazy rock music on my computer while I'm working? HEEEEAAAAVVEEEENNNNNNNN!!!!!

WHY?!

Why did I decide to go back to work? Or better yet - why did I decide to go back to work in the middle of the summer... when the pool and the beach and vacations and everything else are beckoning me to come out and play? Even my 5 year old doesn't understand why Daddy can take him to play and to a friend's pool but I have to stay chained to my computer. I'm having a very hard time staying focused this week. A friend of mine and I have played the "Damn-its-still-not-friday??" game every day this week and guess what? It's STILL not Friday.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Juror Number 6


Why did I have to open my big mouth?? I literally was saying to someone this weekend..."I can't believe I'm 32 and haven't had jury duty yet. I don't know how I keep dodging the bullet!" Well, dangit, I got the summons in the mail today. I am to report to jury service on September 1st and I'm Juror Number 6. The likelihood of me being dismissed is very low. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...

I don't want to go. I have better things to do than to be sitting in a stinky old courthouse in downtown Durham, trying to pretend like I'm even interested in this case. I don't care if it's a murder trial, a grand theft auto, drug charges, whatever it is. You're guilty. I'm not impartial. GET ME OUT OF HERE!

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

W. O. R. D... up!


I'm convinced that songwriters nowadays try to outdo one another with the song lyrics they are writing. Everything seems so contrived and "artsy" instead of just fun and upbeat. Case in point:
__________________________________________________

Matt Nathanson - Come on Get Higher...

I miss the sound of your voice
I miss the rush of your skin
I miss the still of the silence
as you breathe out
and I breath in

If I could walk on water
If I could tell you what's next
Make you believe, make you forget

Come on get higher
Loosen my lips
Faith and desire and the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard and drown me in love
___________________________________________________


Now let me add my disclaimer here - I actually really LOVE this song. But what in the hell is this guy really singing about? Yeah, that's poetic. Whoopdee do. I want to sing fun stuff!! Like the Humpty Dance! I mean, there was some creativity with that song, but it was fun to sing. I mean, His name was Humpty, pronounced with an umpty, he liked to rhyme, he liked the beats funky, he was spunky, he liked his oatmeal lumpy. FUN!

Today I heard the Word Up song by Cameo and it reminded me of being a kid and actually being able to sing along with the words of the music I heard on the radio. I don't even like to listen to the radio with my kids in the car anymore because frankly, I'm worried about the stuff they are going to hear. But not with the Word Up. It's the code word - no matter where you say it, you know that you'll be heard!

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

2 HOURS


I just spent two hours on the phone with Dell tech support. Granted, the gentleman that I had the pleasure of spending my afternoon with was really nice and had a great sense of humor, but I could think of 100 other things I would rather do than spend it on the phone, trying to fix my BRAND NEW computer. I am convinced that you have to have at least a bachelors degree in computer science nowadays to operate a home wireless network, or to be able to use "advanced" tools such as a firewall, virus protection software and anti-spyware systems.

Between uninstalling, re-installing, configuring, adding drivers, updating drivers, and rebooting and resetting multiple times, my computer is finally working again.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

The Challenge

So I've been reading a lot of books about food and nutrition lately and I've decided to challenge myself and my family to eat primarily at home, home-cooked meals for all of August. Eventually I would like to eat 90% of all of our food at home and not in restaurants or fast food. I feel like we've gone a little crazy over the last two months when I look at our bank statements and we've spent $700 this month on eating out!

So here's the idea:
1. I will start cooking dinner every night again. The only exception to this rule is if I am on a date with my husband, or we're on the road traveling.
2. I will NOT go to McDonalds or Chic-Fil-a for breakfast. This is going to be the hardest part considering I will be driving past both (twice!) to drop off the baby at daycare.
3. Make a real breakfast every saturday morning, complete with eggs, bacon, biscuits, pancakes etc.
4. PLAN my menus every week so that I don't get lazy and end up ordering pizza because I didn't decide on something for dinner.

Wish me luck - change is hard! And I'm so lazy lately.

Just got paid, it's friday night...

Haiku of the day:

Dear Employer Man
I'm trying to be patient
Payday was FRIDAY.