Feeling sad today

Normally the sight of a butterfly makes me smile. It makes me think of my sister. I see them everywhere lately as the summer is winding down and they are all starting to migrate south. But today it makes me think about how much I miss her and how badly I wish she was still here. I'm feeling really sad today.

I was pulling weeds out front this morning (my usual activity for pent up anger and frustration) when this little guy came by to say hello. Thank goodness my camera was just a step inside the front door so I could snap a picture!


I can't help but wonder sometimes if God makes it possible for loved ones to come back and check on us from time to time and disguises them like this. I'd like to think that's definitely possible. Maybe God knew I needed to see her today...

Godzilla!

Last night I walked in the front door of my house, only to be greeted by a pair of yellow eyes looking up at me from the foyer. I stifled a scream because the babies were asleep and I was NOT about to wake them up for something like this. Somehow a lizard had managed to find his way into my house and was staring me down, trying to figure out what to do next. I ran upstairs to get my husband because, you know, that's his JOB to get all the creepy crawlies out of the house and he looked at me like "Are you kidding me? I'M not touching that thing!"

The next 5 minutes looked like a scene from a comedy you would see on the movie screen involving the bumbling hero and the equally annoying, squealing heroine. Every time the hubby would chase the lizard with the broom, he would run DIRECTLY at me! I finally decided to stand in the doorway and see what happened next. Thankfully after chasing this devil back and forth for several minutes we got him out the front door. YAY for my husband, my hero!

Now to hear him tell this story this morning to our nanny you would have thought he was fighting a dragon or Godzilla. After the effort he showed to get this THING out of our house, he can call it whatever he wants!

Ahhhhhhhhh

The weather here has dropped 25 degrees in the last 24 hours from 100 degrees to 75 degrees and its a welcome change for everyone. Maybe with this "cold spell" I will be able to run some more this week. My air conditioner won't blow another capacitor anytime soon and I won't have another $200 power bill!

Quote of the day

A life well lived is shown on the feet. Vive les Pedicures! :)

Rain rain go away

Today was payday and all I could think about in the days leading up to today was to have the chance to get my car washed! I worked at a car wash when I was in high school and there is nothing better than a clean car, with freshly vacuumed floor mats and the smell of lemon air freshener. Yes lemon - not that nasty "new car" smell or an overly strong vanilla. A nice, clean car.

Currently on the floor of my car there is an ecclectic mix of M&Ms, baby puffs, cheerios, old french fries, and sand from the beach. I can hardly see through the windshield because there are so many dead bugs streaked and splatted all over the place. My car is actually a deep steel blue, almost navy, but it's so dirty it looks powder blue right now.

The only thing keeping me from my sanctuary on wheels is the fact that it's raining cats and dogs outside and that would pretty much ruin a nicely washed car. Sigh...

All we need is just a little patience

I find it completely impossible to listen to "Patience" without whistling along. Seriously... Just try it!

Haiku of the day:

Monday morning sucks
Wish I had stayed just a mom
Twenty years to go...

One thing, one one thing leads to anooooother

Yeah so I thought it would be a good idea this morning to take a nice little run at lunchtime. Sounds pretty harmless right? Watch this trainwreck chain of events unfold...

Bad decision #1: It's 100 degrees out with a heat index of 105 and blistering, blinding sunshine. I forgot my sunglasses. DANG.

Stupid idea #2: In my haste to leave the house, I forgot to bring something to drink...water, gatorade, anything. And I didn't realize it until I got back to the car. CRAP!

Obviously rational decision #3: I was starving when I was done and the closest food to the lake was Arbys... One big beef and cheddar, curly fries and the largest Mt Dew this side of the Mason-Dixon line later, I just negated my entire reason for working out. DAMMIT.

So now I'm sitting in my office, behind my computer again, sweaty, uncomfortably full and overheated. $#!+

You're the inspiration

I love this song. I heard this in the car today and I was singing at the top of my lungs. I wish they would make love songs like this one nowadays...

You know our love was meant to be
The kind of love that lasts forever
And I need you here with me
From tonight until the end of time

You should know, everywhere I go
You're always on my mind,
in my heart In my soul

You're the meaning in my life
You're the inspiration
You bring feeling to my life
You're the inspiration
Wanna have you near me
I wanna have you hear me sayin'
No one needs you more than I need you

And I know, yes I know that it's plain to see
We're so in love when we're together
And I know that I need you here with me
From tonight until the end of time

You should know, everywhere I go
You're always on my mind,
in my heart In my soul

You're the meaning in my life
You're the inspiration
You bring feeling to my life
You're the inspiration
Wanna have you near me
I wanna have you hear me sayin'
No one needs you more than I need you

You missed a spot...

One of the greatest investments I have ever made was to hire a housekeeper. I know that this is a luxury for most people, and believe me, it's worth every penny! My lady comes to the house every two weeks and cleans my house top to bottom - all for $65. I would gladly pay TWICE that amount to not have to clean my bathrooms. Or vacuum my stairs! Or honestly, to not have to do anything. I am a little worried about how much I enjoy watching her do all the work and not me. (insert evil laugh here)

Irrational fears?

I had an unusual conversation with a friend at the gym this morning that I thought was funny enough to share. We were talking about irrational fears - and just how irrational they actually were. The conversation started because we were discussing a Zumba class, and how dancing in front of all of those people was intimidating. (I didn't think so, but she certainly did.) This started us down the path of what we're afraid of and the list kept getting more and more bizarre as it went along. Our conversation was something like this:

me: Well everyone is afraid of critters - maybe spiders or bees or something. I'm afraid of all of them. Spiders of course. Bees - they are unusually attracted to me and somehow seem to love to divebomb me in the head.

her: What about rats? I'm afraid of rats. They have those huge tails and scary eyes. Ugh... I'm shuddering just thinking about them! Eww!

me: I'm terrified of lightning. I didn't used to be - I almost got hit by lightning back in high school and ever since then, I seem to be deathly afraid of it. If it's off in the distance, I can handle it, but I can't drive in bad storms. I have to pull over!

her: Yeah that's a good one. I hate singing in public. You couldn't pay me to do karaoke!

me: Wow, you don't know what you're missing! I'm afraid of champagne bottles - I'm always afraid I'm going to shoot my eye out opening one. I physically have to go in the other room when people open them! How dumb is that?

her: I think you have a problem with loud noises. Do you get startled alot?

me: Yes, all the time! The worst for me though are cans of biscuits.

her: Huh? Cans of biscuits?!? What the...??

me: Yeah, like crescent rolls or grands or whatever. I'm scared to death of them. I can't open them - when they pop open I scream. I think the anticipation of it popping open is almost worst. Like, if you take the wrapper off and nothing happens... and then you go to pick up the can and it explodes in your hand! Ahh!! That's the only reason I keep my husband around - to open the biscuits for me!

As you can imagine, this led to almost 10 solid minutes of laughter. I didn't realize my biscuit fear was that irrational until someone else learned about it. It makes me wonder what other people are afraid of... What about you?

Your love, your love, your love is my drug

I can't get this stupid song out of my head. It's annoying, it's catchy, and I can't help but sing along every time I hear it.

LMAO!

One of my girlfriends from high school said it perfectly this morning: "wouldn't it be great if laughing your ass off actually worked?". Could you imagine how much more fun this world would be? Working out would be enjoyable! Everyone would be addicted to the gym! I think it would be heaven - and I certainly would have buns of steel. :)

Quote of the Day

Quote of the day across the top of my gmail...

- If God had wanted us to play soccer, he wouldn't have given us arms." - Mike Ditka

Moving to the country, I'm gonna eat alot of peaches

My headline on my Facebook profile pretty much sums up my life: "I live my life in song lyrics." I don't know how it got to be like that, but I feel like I have a soundtrack playing through my head all the time. Sometimes its pretty comical - how many situations can you think of where a song exists that describes the mood or the situation to a T? Example: You're running in your first 5k race and you're thinking..."it's the eye of the tiger, it's the thrill of the fight, rising UP to the challenge of our rivals..." Oh yeah, you'll be singing that one all day. Or maybe you were thinking "And I can't fight this FEELING anymore...I've forgotten what I started fighting fooooooor..." Yes, those are the obvious ones. Mine are more random. Like this morning, for instance. I'm feeding my son his breakfast and he's having peaches. And immediately I start singing this ridiculous song from the 90s by the Presidents of the USA.

Moving to the country, I'm gonna eat alot of peaches
Moving TO the country, I'm gonna eat me alot of peaches
Moving to the country, I'm gonna eat alot of peaches
Moving to the country, I'm gonna eat alot of peaches
Peaches come from a can, they were put there by a man in a factory dooooownnnnntooown
If I had my little way, I'd eat peaches every day
Sun soakin bulges in the shade...

Yes, it's catchy. Yes, it's borderline obnoxious. But I'm being honest when I say that EVERY TIME I feed my son peaches, this runs through my head. Seriously. I can't stop it.

i hate feeling broke...

I'm so glad I'm working again. I don't do very well with delayed gratification although I have learned how to live within my means over the last year or so. But still - I want to be able to buy things for my children whether they need it or want. I want to have nice things and do fun things with my family. I've never been one to be materialistic - in fact, I despise people that only care about what kind of car you drive or what label is on your clothes. I mean please, there are much more important things in life. But I truly don't want my children to grow up feeling like mom can't give them what they need. Its frustrating!

Regardless, I am very thankful to be working. I have a friend who has been unemployed since December of 2007. Yes, almost 3 YEARS. I couldn't even fathom being that down and out for that long. I'm enjoying my new job and really trying to understand what it takes to run a company from the ground up. I hope this gamble pays off too!

But back to my point - being broke sucks! Here are my vows that came from this situation:
1. I will pay myself first. No exceptions. My emergency fund will be monstrous!
2. I will contribute the maximum allowed to my 401k
3. I will contribute $100 or more a month to each child's college fund
4. I will not spend money on stupid things - like eating out all the time. My bank account and my waistline will thank me.
5. I will invest in important things - like spending time with my husband and kids.
6. I will pay it forward whenever possible.
7. I will not be impulsive with my spending. If it can't wait a day or two, I probably didn't need it in the first place.
8. I will not buy junk just because its on sale.
9. I will pay every bill as soon as it comes in - no more falling through the cracks!
10. I will read this list every day. :)

July 30th can't get here fast enough.

I have an obsession

I have an obsession. Yes I'm addicted - to pedicures. It started back in 1999 as a harmless little habit that I would often do on my lunchbreak. And then I started going more regularly until it became an addiction. I've cut way back now, but I had started going to the nail salon once a week while I was pregnant. I couldn't see my feet, much less paint my own toenails, so I considered it a necessity. There's nothing worse than wearing sandals or flip flops in the summer and looking down and seeing a girl with chipped nail polish... or worse - no nail polish. When I try to paint my own nails, I swear it looks like a monkey did it!

Yes it's prissy. Yes it's expensive. It's the most girly and self-indulgent thing that I do and I'm OK with that. But I can promise you, I've got the prettiest toes you've ever seen. :)

Five for fighting

I'm 15 for a moment
Caught in between 10 and 20
And I'm just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are
I'm 22 for a moment
She feels better than ever
And we're on fire
Making our way back from Mars
15 there's still time for you
Time to buy and time to lose
15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live
I'm 33 for a moment
Still the man, but you see I'm a they
A kid on the way
A family on my mind
I'm 45 for a moment
The sea is high
And I'm heading into a crisis
Chasing the years of my life
15 there's still time for you
Time to buy, Time to lose yourself
Within a morning star
15 I'm all right with you
15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live
Half time goes by
Suddenly you’re wise
Another blink of an eye
67 is gone
The sun is getting high
We're moving on...
I'm 99 for a moment
Dying for just another moment
And I'm just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are
15 there's still time for you
22 I feel her too
33 you’re on your way
Every day's a new day...
15 there's still time for you
Time to buy and time to choose
Hey 15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live



Capital One used this song in their commercials back in 2004-2005. In the commercial, the person was getting older and they basically were saying that no matter what stage of your life you were in, they had a card for you etc. This stupid commercial used to make me CRY like a baby when I saw it. Yes it's ridiculous, but I was pregnant at the time and anything like this used to bring me to tears in an instant. The crazy part is, I still have the same reaction from this song. Stupid advertising...

I feel old today. Like really old. I'm going on 33 and this is supposed to be the prime of my life and I just feel like I've lived so much already. Slow down time, please?

Our "stalker"

We have a hawk that lives in the woods behind our house and I finally got a good picture of him this morning.  This little guy wants to eat my dogs - I swear he is stalking them!  I'm not sure how long he's going to hang around, but hopefully I will get better pictures than this one.

I really feel like crap.

Who gets a cold in JULY?!  I mean seriously, who does?  I guess me because I feel really crappy right now.  I woke up on Sunday morning with a sore throat and it has progressed into a really bad cough now.  Ugh... I haven't traveled in over a year and I get on an airplane for a short 45 minute flight twice last week and suddenly I'm sick.  What are the chances?

How fortunate...

My fortune in my fortune cookie today:

"It could be better, but its good enough."

Um, way to aim high?  WTF?

Let Freedom Ring

I don't know what it is about good songwriting, but certain lyrics and music just totally gets me right in the heart.  Today I was driving home from my in-laws and it just happened to be July 4th, so the radio was playing patriotic music every now and then.  I managed to hear "God Bless the USA" and halfway through the song, I realized I was crying.  It's hard to describe - I have always felt that I was a patriotic person.  I grew up a military brat and my father served in Desert Storm and Vietnam.  But this song brings me back to 9/11 every time I hear it.  I remember looking all over town for American flags to put in my car and on my balcony of my apartment.  I remember people singing this song at karaoke for months and months after 9/11 happened.  Our country has been fighting a war I don't really understand for over 7 years now and it makes me sad that so many of my friends and their husbands can't be together on a day like today, to celebrate the freedom that is so precious, that so many of us take for granted in this country.  I am constantly disillusioned by some of the things that are happening in our legislature and the way my country is changing right before my eyes.  I feel powerless to do anything at times.  But for one moment today, I am thankful for how good I really have it. 

"and I'd gladly stand up next to you and defend her still today, cause there ain't no doubt I love this land, God Bless the USA..."