Oh Coach K...

Sunny Conditions Likely to Delay Duke Game Again

February 17, 2014

Mike Krzeisfhssky is a sneaky man.

Duke University expressed uncertainty at being able to attend Thursday’s men’s basketball match against UNC on Sunday despite warm weather, citing the odd requirements of their new bus drivers.
“We fired the old bus drivers because they couldn’t deal with a little bit of snow, but it turns out these new ones have a weird thing with mid-70s temperatures and partly cloudy skies” said Duke’s head coach Mike Krysvellsdfski. “We’re trying hard to re-train them and should make our final decision about the time Phase 1 students will be admitted to the stadium,” the full-time coach and part-time rodent added.

UNC’s head coach, Roy Williams, was disappointed with the news as it came after a prior postponement due to snow last week.

“If those got dern [sic] Duke serns [sic] of bitches post pone [sic] the game again I’m gonna have a daggum [sic] canniption [sic] fit,”  reported Williams via an email to The Onyen.

A UNC basketball game has never been delayed two times in the same season, but all sources contacted agree that it would be a very Duke thing to do.
—
Like us on Facebook and Twitter and we’ll donate one vowel to Coach K’s last name.