Wow, it's so pretty outside...

It's 75 degrees out today and the sun is shining... and I'm sitting here, behind my computer, wishing I was out there in it.  :(  Waah. 

This is my view from my office...

GPOYW

I'm stealing this theme from Leah Greenwood because I think it's hilariousl.  It's Gratuitous Picture of Yourself Wednesday.  And because I usually post some depressing shit on here, I thought I would make this funny.  So here you go - one of the first pictures I took with my iPhone....

You're welcome America....

Live like we're dying...

I shamelessly love this song.  Like A LOT.  I heard it today on the radio and I've been singing it in my head ever since.  Thank you Kris Allen...



Sometimes we fall down, can't get back up


We're hiding behind skin that's too tough

How come we don't say I love you enough

Till it's to late, it's not too late



Our hearts are hungry for a food that won't come

And we could make a feast from these crumbs

And we're all staring down the barrel of a gun

So if your life flashed before you,

What would you wish you would've done



Yeah, we gotta start

Looking at the hands of the time we've been given

If this is all we got and we gotta start thinking

If every second counts on a clock that's ticking

Gotta live like we're dying



We only got 86,400 seconds in a day to

Turn it all around or to throw it all away

We gotta tell them that we love them

While we got the chance to say

Gotta live like we're dying



And if your plane fell out of the skies

Who would you call with your last goodbye

Should be so careful who we live out our lives

So when we long for absolution,

There'll no one on the line, yeah



Yeah, we gotta start

Looking at the hands of the time we've been given

If this is all we got and we gotta start thinking

If every second counts on a clock that's ticking

Gotta live like we're dying



We only got 86,400 seconds in a day to

Turn it all around or to throw it all away

We gotta tell them that we love them

While we got the chance to say

Gotta live like we're dying



Like we're dying, oh, like we're dying..

http://www.elyricsworld.com/live_like_we're_dying_lyrics_kris_allen.html



We only got 86,400 seconds in a day to

Turn it all around or to throw it all away

We gotta tell them that we love them

While we got the chance to say

Gotta live like we're dying



You never know a good thing till it's gone

You never see a crash till it's head on

Why do we think we're right when we're dead wrong

You never know a good thing till it's gone



Yeah, we gotta start

Looking at the hands of the time we've been given

If this is all we got and we gotta start thinking

If every second counts on a clock that's ticking

Gotta live like we're dying



We only got 86,400 seconds in a day to

Turn it all around or to throw it all away

We gotta tell them that we love them

While we got the chance to say

Gotta live like we're dying



Like we're dying, oh, like we're dying..



We only got 86,400 seconds in a day to

Turn it all around or to throw it all away

We gotta tell them that we love them

While we got the chance to say

Gotta live like we're dying..

Wow, it's been quite awile...

Yes I've been absent from the blogging world for awhile.  That's probably a good thing - I had alot of stuff to do!  Just a quick update:

1. I'm back working full time.  Which means that I not only have a decent paycheck again, but it also means I am chained to my computer most of the day.  Which is good news for you blog-loving folks because I will be updating more often!  haha

2.  I have been working my ass off at the gym since January.  I started working out twice a week for a trainer - his name is Chris, he's amazing, by the way - and I have seen some MAJOR progress.  And when I say major, I'm talking I have lost 6 inches in my waist...  That's unbelievable.  I plan on working out with him for as long as I can afford to.  It's worth it - I feel stronger (and sexier! hehe) than I have in years.  That's so worth it to me.

3.  The kids are doing great.  My oldest is almost done with his first year of kindergarten, and the baby will be turning TWO YEARS OLD in just a few weeks.  Where in the hell did the time go??  They are both crazy and keep me on my toes, but what do you expect from two adorable little boys?

4.  We are getting sod in our backyard soon.  If you have followed my sod saga over the last two years, this is significant.  Since we built this house in 2004, we've never had grass in the backyard.  Like EVER.  It's just been an eclectic mix of rocks, weeds and patches of what I would classify as concrete that was just dumped back there.  So I am very excited to be to open the back door to let the boys out to play without having to say "watch our for the rocks".  It will be so pretty and I'm planning to put in a butterfly garden in the back corner.  This is an idea I had a few years back, so I'm happy that it's all coming together.  I will be taking a trip to the farmers market in two weeks to pick out all of my plants.  YAY!

That's about all for now.  I'll try to make sure I update this more often.  I may even steal post ideas from my friends who keep blogs too.  Like Leah's, for instance...  she does "Gratuitous picture of yourself Wednesday."  I'm going to be starting that too. 

Another night another dream but always you...

So this morning I'm driving through the Target parking lot, getting ready to head back home with the baby when an all too familiar song comes on the radio - Another Night by Real McCoy.  Yeah go ahead and pull that one out of your memory, it's been about...17 years...since it was popular.  The song stopped me dead in my tracks today because it reminded me of my sister.  Surprise, surprise, I know!   I just remember how we used to ride around in my car when I was a senior in high school and I would beep along with the beat of the song. 

And so, in homage to my sissy, I beeped along to the music.  Yes it was silly, but it was the only thing that kept me from crying.  I feel like I'm missing her more now than ever.

Last words

Every single week I look forward to one TV show more than any other... (Not the Biggest Loser, although it's my favorite show EVER)... I absolutely LOVE How I Met Your Mother.  I think it's got some of the best writing on TV and I laugh my ass off, out loud, to every episode.  I always had a huge crush on Neil Patrick Harris growing up and I love his character Barney Stinson.

Well this week's episode totally threw me.  I just watched it, expecting it to be funny and just the comedy treatment I needed to wake me from my emotional week from hell.  Oh heck no.  This was the saddest show I have seen in my entire life.

Here's the episode if you want to check it out yourself...
http://www.cbs.com/primetime/how_i_met_your_mother/video/?pid=LSN0exE_EMGgsM2qwpHJpOSMj6Lq6RW9

The quick quick version is that Marshall is at his father's funeral and the whole family has decided that they will use the theme of "last words" as what they will do for the eulogy.  I cried for 30 solid minutes.  How could the funniest show on TV let me down like this?  I already have a hard time dealing with funerals since my sister's death but this show really got me thinking...  If I died tomorrow, what would my last words have been?  Would they have been something stupid?  Would they have been loving?  Would they have been mean or hateful?  I hope they would have been meaningful to whoever I said them to.

I think back to the last thing Heather said to me before she died.  We had just come back from her arteriogram and I had to use the bathroom - I was pregnant, this wasn't out of the ordinary.  I told her I'd be right back and she said "I'll be right here.  Hurry back - I love you."   By the time I got back, Heather had taken a turn for the worse and was in cardiac arrest.  They were performing CPR and wheeling her out of the ER to surgery.  The only thing I could do was stand there in the ER and scream "somebody DO something!!"  I think back to this and I realize that I didn't even say "I love you" back to her. 

With the week I have had and all of the anger and hurt feelings I have had, this one show has stopped me dead in my tracks.  I'm realizing that, yet again, life is too short to hold on to these bad feelings.  To hold onto anger towards people who probably don't even realize I was angry with them.  To let go of the hurts that people have caused and to just ... forgive. 

If I die today, I hope my last words were "I'm glad that I knew you.  You were special to me.  I love you."

25 more things you didn't know about me

1.  I won a bikini contest in 1996.  I swear I only won because I was wearing a thong.
2.  I secretly would love to play the voice of a villain in a Disney movie. 
3.  I practice my villain voice.  Alot. 
4.  I have a new found love for Swiss cheese. 
5.  The Biggest Loser is hands down my favorite TV show of all time.
6.  I've ridden in a blimp before.
7.  If I was ever a stripper, my theme song would be "Fat Bottom Girls."  Good thing I don't have much on top...
8.  I don't really like being a salesperson, but I really like cashing my commission checks.
9.  I could eat Mexican or Japanese food every day of my life. 
10. I can reenact the warehouse scene from Footloose.  If you don't know what this is, ask me about it and I'll show you.
11. I am very affectionate.  I love to snuggle. 
12. I love a good smelling guy. I don't even care who you are. If you are sporting some tasty cologne, you can bet I'm going to sniff you. 
13. My favorite color is purple, but I also love carolina blue.
14. I love wavy arms. There is nothing hotter than a nice pair of biceps.
15. Those semi-animated Charles Schwab commercials weird me out.
16. I figured out the purgatory concept to Lost in the first season.  The series finale was a huge "told you so" moment for me.
17. I won't text while I drive.  It scares me.
18. I can't smoke.  I seem to want to attempt to smoke when I've had too much to drink, and it's not pretty.
19. My favorite part of a wedding is when the groom sees the bride for the first time.  It is always so touching and I cry like a baby.

20. For a solid year, I was convinced I was going to be a naval aviator.  I made my Dad call me Maverick that entire summer.  I still have my aviator glasses he gave me to encourage me to follow my dreams.
21. I watch America's Funniest Home Videos every single Sunday, without fail.
22. I won a hula hooping contest at Hooters when I was 9 years old.
23. I talk to my sister's urn every time I go to my Dad's house. 
24. Butterflies are drawn to me.  I'd like to think it's my sister's way of being with me on Earth still.
25. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

I love mix CDs

I've decided to start a new hobby - making mix CDs for my friends.  Back in college, my friend Pam and I had this one tape that we recorded all of the popular songs off the radio onto and we would listen to it while we were getting to go out to the bars etc.  I can tell you right now that to this day, every time I hear one of the songs that was on that tape, I think of her and I think of all the fun we had!

Since tapes are obsolete now, obviously I will be making mix CDs.  Today I put together my first collection - a compilation of songs from when I was in 8th grade.  Hello 1990!!  I haven't stopped jamming to it yet. 

If you want a mix CD there's only one requirement - you make one for me too!  Let me know if you're game - this could be alot of fun!!

Welcome 2011!

Well this year has certainly started off with a bang.  Just to give you an update of some of the things going on in my life right now...

1. I started working part time.  My company is going broke and with no sales to speak of, we've had some cut backs.  I see this as not that big of a deal because it just means that I get to spend some more time with my son.  Instead of a nanny hanging out with him every morning, I get to hang out with him!   And all of this free time leads me to...

2.  I've started working out again!  My body hasn't ached this much in a very long time.  I went four days in a row this week!  I really missed it, I'm not going to lie.  I have alot of work to do and alot of damage to undo.  Maybe this year will be the year I actually lose the rest of this baby weight.  I'm still carrying around 10 pounds that I can't get rid of!  And there's only 6 more months until summertime...

3.  I also started taking the first of many MBA classes.  I feel like I have gone back to college so many times.  At least this program goes right in line with what I'm doing.  My concentration is going to be on marketing and consumer behavior, so I'm hoping this will also open up the job market for me in the future.  Speaking of which...

4.  I have spent most of my career interviewing for new jobs.  I swear, I feel like all I ever do is interview!  In fact, I had an interview this morning for a software company.  I'm not sure if I'm even interested in the position.  There are alot of pluses to working for this company - it's an established firm, it has CAREER potential, there are some great people that work there, the manager I would be working for is actually pretty awesome...  but then again, I would give up so much by taking the job.  I would give up my time with Tyler, my flexibility and freedom, my ability to see my husband every day at lunchtime and the option of taking my son to school every day.  I'm not sure what I'm willing to go without.  Taking this job would throw my family into complete upheavel.  I would have to find a new daycare, etc.  I have to think about it long and hard over the weekend - I have a follow up interview on Monday that I'm not sure I'm going to be able to do.  Why is it so hard to find a "home" with a decent company for me?  Is it because I think secretly that I don't really WANT to work anyhow?  Hmmm...

5.  I've decided to wait on the decision with what to do with my reproductive health.  I've been on a low GI diet that I'm failing miserably at.  I haven't lost any weight at all and I'm still eating horribly.  And I have a zillion friends that are pregnant right now and it's pulling at my heartstrings to have another baby.  That door may be closed right now, but the option is still there if we decide to change it.  There's alot going on in my life and I thought it would all slow down!

6.  We're still continuing on our path to Financial Peace.  I am happy to report that we have not used a credit card one time since September 5th.  That is astounding to me, since it feels like we have lived on credit for 10+ years.  I hope these good habits continue and that we will continue to pay off our debt as quickly as we had hoped.

So since it's a new year and all, alot of people are making new year's resolutions.  I don't usually make any formal resolutions, but there is one I am going to do my hardest to keep.  I am going to try and be better about keeping in touch with friends.  With all of the technology available nowadays, I will more discounted from my friends and family than ever before.  A facebook status update is not a real conversation with friends.  I will do better to email and call.  I will be informed and interested! 

So I ask you - what are your resolutions for the year?  What's going on in your world?

5. 

Ode to my fake Uggs

And now, a haiku...


Dear fake Uggs, You ROCK!
My feet are so toasty warm
All is right today.

If all the raindrops were lemon drops and gum drops...

Do NOT be fooled.  These are not gum drops.  I was so disappointed...

Lucky for you...

...I'm stuck on a conference call.  Which means this blog will include a random stream of consciousness...

My feet are FREEZING. I think I want some Uggs for Christmas.  Or just because I need them.  I know they are ugly and kind of 2003 or whatever, but obviously they are useful.  Because honestly, there is nothing worse than not being able to warm up, especially on the bottom half!

I broke down and had a diet Dr Pepper.  Or 3.  Today. Shut up...

I'm going part-time for work in exactly 23 days.  I started actually working part-time on Monday.  Oops! 

Every year my mother-in-law buys me a Hallmark Wizard of Oz christmas ornament.  I LOVE them but they don't match my color schemes on my trees every year and so they don't get put on the tree.  It's a damn shame really.  I think I have decided to have a "tacky" christmas next year and I'm going to put every single ornament I own on the tree, along with all of the lights... that includes the red lights, the blue lights, the colored lights, and the white lights.  Aw yeah baby!  Every colored ball, no matter what color, every handmade ornament, every childhood memory ornament, and every single Wizard of Oz ornament.  It's going to be legen...wait for it...DARY!

I am super late this year with Christmas cards.  A friend of mine took BEAUTIFUL pictures of my family and I wanted the pictures for the cards.  Hold your horses people, they will be mailed before the 25th...

This new diet sucks because I actually have to PLAN what I'm going to eat.  Ugh...

More to come later today - conference call is OVER and I can actually do some work now!

AGONY!!!!

So in light of the recent medical problems I've had going on, my doctor has suggested putting me on a low GI diet. For those of you unfamiliar with those words, that means a low GLYCEMIC INDEX diet. In other words, no sugar, no breads, no rice, no sweet fruits, no soda, no anything that I deem worthy of eating lately. I used to be very good about the way I ate. I was a walking advertisement for the South Beach diet or cleaning eating, but here lately, I've developed a bit of a sweet tooth. In fact, a very BAD sweet tooth. I would recent have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich than eat a salad. (This is very rare for me!)

That being said, one of the things I've had to cut out because of my torture... I mean, uh, "diet" is diet Dr. Pepper. I live for a Diet Dr. Pepper. Most people drink coffee to wake up in the morning... not me! I drink DDP. And I love it! And not being able to have any of it is A-G-O-N-Y!!!

This diet sucks.

Blah.

I'm having a down kind of day. I got some interesting news yesterday relating to my health and it's put me in a funk. I normally have a pretty good idea of what's going on when I go to the doctor, etc, but I was definitely not mentally prepared for the news I received yesterday. I'm turning 33 next week and my doctor has suggested that I have a hysterectomy or do a different procedure called an endometrial ablation. Doesn't that sound pleasant?! Either way, I am terrified of what I need to have done. I've never had surgery before and I am scared that something could go wrong.

Blah. :(

'Tis the season

The local radio stations around here waste no time when it comes to playing holiday music.  I heard my first christmas carol on November 1st and I rolled my eyes at the time.  But not this morning.  Oh no sir - this morning I heard one of my favorite christmas songs on the radio...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xMtuVP8Mj4o


How can you not get all in the christmas spirit when you hear this song?  This guy is SO peppy and upbeat and FEELING it!  I love it!

I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas...  ;)