ZZZZZZzzzzzzz.........

I couldn't sleep last night.  I went to bed at 10pm and I just laid there for what seemed like eternity.  Normally I don't have any problem going to sleep.  Heck, I would go to bed at 8pm every night if I could but for some reason I was wide awake and I just couldn't turn my brain off. 

I started thinking about a lot of stuff.  Totally random stuff.  Stuff I had no business even thinking about because I knew it would upset me, but I couldn't stop it.  I realized that I hold onto so many things from my past.  I wish I could just let go of some of it. 

I started thinking about my sister and what happened the night she died.   I thought about how much I missed her and how I wished I could just hug her one more time.  I thought about the people in my life that I had hurt immensely.  I thought about what I would say to them again, given the opportunity to just be in the same room with them.  I thought about where my life would be if I had made different decisions and followed my heart instead of my head.  I thought about the person I would have become if I had changed directions and lived for myself instead of what others expected of me.  It was a lot to think about.

I wish I could say that all of these crazy thoughts ended last night, but they didn't.  Here I sit in front of my computer, with SO MUCH TO DO today, and I still can't turn the thoughts off.  Sigh... it's going to be a long day.