Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Last words

Every single week I look forward to one TV show more than any other... (Not the Biggest Loser, although it's my favorite show EVER)... I absolutely LOVE How I Met Your Mother.  I think it's got some of the best writing on TV and I laugh my ass off, out loud, to every episode.  I always had a huge crush on Neil Patrick Harris growing up and I love his character Barney Stinson.

Well this week's episode totally threw me.  I just watched it, expecting it to be funny and just the comedy treatment I needed to wake me from my emotional week from hell.  Oh heck no.  This was the saddest show I have seen in my entire life.

Here's the episode if you want to check it out yourself...
http://www.cbs.com/primetime/how_i_met_your_mother/video/?pid=LSN0exE_EMGgsM2qwpHJpOSMj6Lq6RW9

The quick quick version is that Marshall is at his father's funeral and the whole family has decided that they will use the theme of "last words" as what they will do for the eulogy.  I cried for 30 solid minutes.  How could the funniest show on TV let me down like this?  I already have a hard time dealing with funerals since my sister's death but this show really got me thinking...  If I died tomorrow, what would my last words have been?  Would they have been something stupid?  Would they have been loving?  Would they have been mean or hateful?  I hope they would have been meaningful to whoever I said them to.

I think back to the last thing Heather said to me before she died.  We had just come back from her arteriogram and I had to use the bathroom - I was pregnant, this wasn't out of the ordinary.  I told her I'd be right back and she said "I'll be right here.  Hurry back - I love you."   By the time I got back, Heather had taken a turn for the worse and was in cardiac arrest.  They were performing CPR and wheeling her out of the ER to surgery.  The only thing I could do was stand there in the ER and scream "somebody DO something!!"  I think back to this and I realize that I didn't even say "I love you" back to her. 

With the week I have had and all of the anger and hurt feelings I have had, this one show has stopped me dead in my tracks.  I'm realizing that, yet again, life is too short to hold on to these bad feelings.  To hold onto anger towards people who probably don't even realize I was angry with them.  To let go of the hurts that people have caused and to just ... forgive. 

If I die today, I hope my last words were "I'm glad that I knew you.  You were special to me.  I love you."

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

25 more things you didn't know about me

1.  I won a bikini contest in 1996.  I swear I only won because I was wearing a thong.
2.  I secretly would love to play the voice of a villain in a Disney movie. 
3.  I practice my villain voice.  Alot. 
4.  I have a new found love for Swiss cheese. 
5.  The Biggest Loser is hands down my favorite TV show of all time.
6.  I've ridden in a blimp before.
7.  If I was ever a stripper, my theme song would be "Fat Bottom Girls."  Good thing I don't have much on top...
8.  I don't really like being a salesperson, but I really like cashing my commission checks.
9.  I could eat Mexican or Japanese food every day of my life. 
10. I can reenact the warehouse scene from Footloose.  If you don't know what this is, ask me about it and I'll show you.
11. I am very affectionate.  I love to snuggle. 
12. I love a good smelling guy. I don't even care who you are. If you are sporting some tasty cologne, you can bet I'm going to sniff you. 
13. My favorite color is purple, but I also love carolina blue.
14. I love wavy arms. There is nothing hotter than a nice pair of biceps.
15. Those semi-animated Charles Schwab commercials weird me out.
16. I figured out the purgatory concept to Lost in the first season.  The series finale was a huge "told you so" moment for me.
17. I won't text while I drive.  It scares me.
18. I can't smoke.  I seem to want to attempt to smoke when I've had too much to drink, and it's not pretty.
19. My favorite part of a wedding is when the groom sees the bride for the first time.  It is always so touching and I cry like a baby.
20. For a solid year, I was convinced I was going to be a naval aviator.  I made my Dad call me Maverick that entire summer.  I still have my aviator glasses he gave me to encourage me to follow my dreams.
21. I watch America's Funniest Home Videos every single Sunday, without fail.
22. I won a hula hooping contest at Hooters when I was 9 years old.
23. I talk to my sister's urn every time I go to my Dad's house. 
24. Butterflies are drawn to me.  I'd like to think it's my sister's way of being with me on Earth still.
25. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

I love mix CDs



I've decided to start a new hobby - making mix CDs for my friends.  Back in college, my friend Pam and I had this one tape that we recorded all of the popular songs off the radio onto and we would listen to it while we were getting to go out to the bars etc.  I can tell you right now that to this day, every time I hear one of the songs that was on that tape, I think of her and I think of all the fun we had!

Since tapes are obsolete now, obviously I will be making mix CDs.  Today I put together my first collection - a compilation of songs from when I was in 8th grade.  Hello 1990!!  I haven't stopped jamming to it yet. 

If you want a mix CD there's only one requirement - you make one for me too!  Let me know if you're game - this could be alot of fun!!

Friday, January 7, 2011

Welcome 2011!

Well this year has certainly started off with a bang.  Just to give you an update of some of the things going on in my life right now...

1. I started working part time.  My company is going broke and with no sales to speak of, we've had some cut backs.  I see this as not that big of a deal because it just means that I get to spend some more time with my son.  Instead of a nanny hanging out with him every morning, I get to hang out with him!   And all of this free time leads me to...

2.  I've started working out again!  My body hasn't ached this much in a very long time.  I went four days in a row this week!  I really missed it, I'm not going to lie.  I have alot of work to do and alot of damage to undo.  Maybe this year will be the year I actually lose the rest of this baby weight.  I'm still carrying around 10 pounds that I can't get rid of!  And there's only 6 more months until summertime...

3.  I also started taking the first of many MBA classes.  I feel like I have gone back to college so many times.  At least this program goes right in line with what I'm doing.  My concentration is going to be on marketing and consumer behavior, so I'm hoping this will also open up the job market for me in the future.  Speaking of which...

4.  I have spent most of my career interviewing for new jobs.  I swear, I feel like all I ever do is interview!  In fact, I had an interview this morning for a software company.  I'm not sure if I'm even interested in the position.  There are alot of pluses to working for this company - it's an established firm, it has CAREER potential, there are some great people that work there, the manager I would be working for is actually pretty awesome...  but then again, I would give up so much by taking the job.  I would give up my time with Tyler, my flexibility and freedom, my ability to see my husband every day at lunchtime and the option of taking my son to school every day.  I'm not sure what I'm willing to go without.  Taking this job would throw my family into complete upheavel.  I would have to find a new daycare, etc.  I have to think about it long and hard over the weekend - I have a follow up interview on Monday that I'm not sure I'm going to be able to do.  Why is it so hard to find a "home" with a decent company for me?  Is it because I think secretly that I don't really WANT to work anyhow?  Hmmm...

5.  I've decided to wait on the decision with what to do with my reproductive health.  I've been on a low GI diet that I'm failing miserably at.  I haven't lost any weight at all and I'm still eating horribly.  And I have a zillion friends that are pregnant right now and it's pulling at my heartstrings to have another baby.  That door may be closed right now, but the option is still there if we decide to change it.  There's alot going on in my life and I thought it would all slow down!

6.  We're still continuing on our path to Financial Peace.  I am happy to report that we have not used a credit card one time since September 5th.  That is astounding to me, since it feels like we have lived on credit for 10+ years.  I hope these good habits continue and that we will continue to pay off our debt as quickly as we had hoped.

So since it's a new year and all, alot of people are making new year's resolutions.  I don't usually make any formal resolutions, but there is one I am going to do my hardest to keep.  I am going to try and be better about keeping in touch with friends.  With all of the technology available nowadays, I will more discounted from my friends and family than ever before.  A facebook status update is not a real conversation with friends.  I will do better to email and call.  I will be informed and interested! 

So I ask you - what are your resolutions for the year?  What's going on in your world?

5.