I saw this picture today and it stopped me dead in my tracks. There's something strangely comforting about being able to go to a cemetery and talk to a gravestone. I don't know what it is. Maybe it's because you know that person is there, even if they are buried beneath you and in a coffin. For some reason it's peaceful. It's usually quiet and you have the chance to be alone and say things you want to say. Maybe it's exactly like this picture?
My sister was cremated and currently is in a large urn in the entrance foyer at my fathers' house. There's no chance to be alone. There's no chance to break down when I want to. My grief is public and in front of anyone who happens to be at the house. I probably make a fool of myself every time I am there because I always walk over, pat the urn, say "Hello, I love you and I miss you" and walk away. I don't get a chance to cry by myself with her. I don't get a chance to tell her all of the things going on and how much she is missed. I don't have that private time. And I sometimes wonder if THAT is why it's so hard sometimes. It also makes me rethink things in my own life and really wonder what it would be like if my children or my family lost me too early... Would they have a hard time if I was sitting in an urn in the house?? Would they want that private place to go to to be with me? Would my kids need the distance or would it weird them out to have ashes in the house like that? I know these are bizarre questions but I've thought about my own mortality so much lately that these things keep coming up and I wonder what I should do.
What are your plans? Why did you choose that? I'd love to know what others have planned for themselves and the reasons behind them.
Hey Carrie. I just thought you should know that my brother sits in a box-like urn in my mom's house and thought I would tell you that you aren't alone in the fact there is no private gravestone to visit. I guess I would want my brother's ashes if something happened to my mom but, knowing my sisters, it might be somewhat of an argument. As for how I would want to go...I don't want to think about that right now. Life is too short as it is and what will be, will be. It's hard to think that way knowing the circumstances of how your sister and my brother each left us. If I had to choose right this minute, ashes would be the way to go. I cannot fathom decomposition and don't want to slowly deteriorate.
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